Definition
Respond to difficult, stressful or sensitive interpersonal
situations in ways that reduce or minimize potential
conflict and maintains good working relationships among
internal and external customers. In a customer
service or personal sense, the ability to recognize awkward
or potentially embarrassing situations which sometimes
arise. The skill to be aware of tone and careful choice of
words, while at the same time ensuring that the intended
message is clear, polite and readily understood. A
sub-component of
Interpersonal Understanding.
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Behavioral Descriptions
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Proficiency Level 5
- Understands emotional components behind complex
situations.
Altruistic; goes out of the way to help.
Courteous in all situations.
Uses appropriate tone of voice in all situations.
Effectively handles highly tense situations.
Anticipates and prepares for responses.
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Proficiency Level 4
- Puts oneself in others’ shoes.
Empathetic toward others.
Courteous, interacts positively in the face of
others’ negative comments.
Understands underlying meaning behind certain
situations or issues.
Recognizes specific strengths and weaknesses of
other people.
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Proficiency Level 3
- Interacts pleasantly and positively with others.
Utilizes multiple approaches in dealing with others.
Respectful and considerate of others’ point of view.
Objective – doesn't interact using a hidden agenda.
Actively strive to understand the people and the data
before making decisions and taking action.
Patiently wait for others to catch up and share their
views before taking action. Includes others.
Carry
out interaction in a respectful manner that maintains
the dignity of all.
Use
behaviors and language in dealing with people that are
appropriate for workplace situations.
Handles and work through difficult or awkward
interpersonal situations in a positive manner.
Deliver a difficult message with sensitivity to minimize
negative impact on others.
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Proficiency Level 2
Utilizes one basic approach in
dealing with others.
May occasionally make unintentional
negative or offensive comments.
Avoids situations where others share
personal problems.
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Proficiency Level 1
Inconsiderate of others’ point of
view.
Often says things that offend others.
Difficulty working with individuals
with different backgrounds.
Makes insensitive or offensive
comments or suggestions.
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Suggested Activities for Development
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Identify
someone who is good at listening and understanding.
Spend some time observing what she or he does and says.
Ask what he or she was thinking during the conversation
and try to use the same reasoning in your next
interaction and monitor the other person’s response to
it.
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Over the next
two or three weeks, pay close attention to the
non-verbal cues of others when communicating with them.
Determine what emotions are being communicated and check
your assessment with the individual before acting on
them. Assess your progress in understanding others.
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Join the
diversity council.
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Ask your
manager or colleagues to sit in on a meeting with a
difficult customer or employee. Ask for feedback on your
interpersonal skills. Based on feedback, identify one
specific behavior you will focus on improving during the
next week. Repeat process periodically. Assess progress
on behaviors you are trying to improve.
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Negotiate a
contract with a customer.
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Provide
constructive feedback to an employee or colleague.
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Become a
mentor.
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Once a week,
walk around in your area. Ask team members how things
are going; what difficulties they are having and what
you can do to help. Revisit their concerns the next time
you walk around.
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If you are a
manager, ask each of your peers how your team can work
more effectively with their team. Decide on a plan to
implement some of their suggestions.
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Recommended Courses
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Additional Resource
Books
- Be Your Own Executive Coach: Master High-Impact
Communications Skills for Dealing With Difficult People,
Improving Your Personal Image, Learning How to Listen,
Solving Business by P. Delisser (Chandler House Press,
1999). Dubbed "the executive's new coach" by Fortune
Magazine , Peter deLisser teaches managers how to "shut
up and listen", how to make "every conversation a sales
call" and even how to deal with "a boss who's a
screamer."
- How To Win Friends And Influence People by D.
Carnegie (Pocket Books, 1990). For over 50 years the
rock-solid, time-tested advice in this book has carried
thousands of now famous people up the ladder of success
in their business and personal lives. Now this
phenomenal book has been revised and updated to help
readers achieve their maximum potential in the complex
and competitive world.
- Overcoming Anger and Irritability by W. Davies (New
York University Press, 1990). Overcoming Anger and
Irritability includes an introduction to the origins and
nature of anger and irritability. It contains a complete
self-help program, using clinically proven cognitive
therapy methods, as well as work sheets to help readers
to track their progress.
- Art Of Talking So That People Will Listen by P.
Swets (Prentice Hall, 1986). Communication that wins a
positive response from others can provide you with a new
way of life. Nothing is more essential to success in any
area of your life than the ability to communicate well.
- People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to
Others, and Resolve Conflicts by R. Bolton (Prentice
Hall, 1979). People Skills are communication-skills
handbooks that can help you eliminate these and other
communication problems. Author Robert Bolton describes
the twelve most common communication barriers, showing
how these "roadblocks" damage relationships by
increasing defensiveness, aggressiveness, or dependency.
Media
- Ten Commandments. This outstanding video uses
light-hearted, humorous vignettes to help you learn how
to communicate effectively with people that have
disabilities. Employee University, 1-888.215.8532.
- Communicating Non-Defensively. Viewers gain a clear
understanding of why all people are naturally defensive,
as well as learn the symptoms and consequences of
inappropriate defensiveness. This video shows that we
all must be responsible for how we deliver AND receive
messages. Employee University, 1-888.215.8532.
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Behavioral-Based Interviewing Questions
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